Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans,
North and South Carolinians ,
and West Virginians
Will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as
"APPALACHIAN - AMERICANS."
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN." :downtown:
2. She is not "EASY" - She is
"HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
"LIGHT - HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes
"VERBALLY REPETITIVE" :argue:
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a
"LOW COST PROVIDER"
"HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN
AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT"
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He developed a
"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is
"OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE ROUTES
TO NEW DESTINATIONS"
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in
"FOLLICLE REGRESSION"
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
6. It's not the "CRACK" hanging out of his pants - It's
"REAR CLEAVAGE" :bootysha:
Kentuckians, Tennesseans,
North and South Carolinians ,
and West Virginians
Will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as
"APPALACHIAN - AMERICANS."
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN." :downtown:
2. She is not "EASY" - She is
"HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
"LIGHT - HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY"
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"
5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes
"VERBALLY REPETITIVE" :argue:
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a
"LOW COST PROVIDER"
"HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN
AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT"
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He developed a
"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is
"OVERLY CAUCASIAN"
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE ROUTES
TO NEW DESTINATIONS"
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in
"FOLLICLE REGRESSION"
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
6. It's not the "CRACK" hanging out of his pants - It's
"REAR CLEAVAGE" :bootysha:
