Subject: Why the Government is in the shape that it's in!Now You Know Why the Government Is In the Shape That It's In!A Washington , DC , airport ticket agent offers some examples of why ourcountry is in trouble! No explanations necessary.
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On anairplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to CapeTown . I started
to explain the length of the flight and the passportinformation. Then she interrupted
me with, 'I'm not trying to make youlook stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts .'
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod isin Massachusetts ,
Cape Town is in Africa .'
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida packagewe did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said hewas expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle ofthe state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a verythin state!' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible tosee England from Canada ?
' I said, 'No.'
She said, 'But they look so close on the map.' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could renta car in Dallas . When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had onlya 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why
he wanted to rent a carhe said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car todrive
between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know howit was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got toChicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an
hour ahead ofIllinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physicaldescription on your bag
so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag onmy luggage that said
'FAT', and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'
After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I waslaughing) I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno, CA is 'FAT'(Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was
just putting adestination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .After going over all the
cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to flyto California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?'
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, 'Howdo I know which
plane to get on?'
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told myflight number is 823,
but none of these planes have numbers on them.'
10. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on
one of those little computer planes?' Iasked if she meant fly toPensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!'
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents heneeded in order to fly to
China. After a lengthy discussion aboutpassports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have oneof those .'
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times andevery time they
have accepted my American Express!'
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, 'I want togo from
Chicago to Rhino, New York .'
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the nameof the town?'
'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied the lady.
After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked upevery airport
code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'
The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Checkyour map!'
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'Youdon't mean Buffalo , do you?
The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On anairplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to CapeTown . I started
to explain the length of the flight and the passportinformation. Then she interrupted
me with, 'I'm not trying to make youlook stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts .'
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod isin Massachusetts ,
Cape Town is in Africa .'
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida packagewe did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said hewas expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle ofthe state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a verythin state!' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible tosee England from Canada ?
' I said, 'No.'
She said, 'But they look so close on the map.' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could renta car in Dallas . When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had onlya 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why
he wanted to rent a carhe said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car todrive
between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know howit was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got toChicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an
hour ahead ofIllinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physicaldescription on your bag
so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag onmy luggage that said
'FAT', and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'
After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I waslaughing) I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno, CA is 'FAT'(Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was
just putting adestination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .After going over all the
cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to flyto California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?'
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, 'Howdo I know which
plane to get on?'
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told myflight number is 823,
but none of these planes have numbers on them.'
10. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on
one of those little computer planes?' Iasked if she meant fly toPensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!'
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents heneeded in order to fly to
China. After a lengthy discussion aboutpassports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have oneof those .'
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times andevery time they
have accepted my American Express!'
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, 'I want togo from
Chicago to Rhino, New York .'
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the nameof the town?'
'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied the lady.
After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked upevery airport
code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'
The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Checkyour map!'
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'Youdon't mean Buffalo , do you?
The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
