1/ Walking 20 minutes can add to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
2/ My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old...
and we haven't a clue where the hell he is.
3/ I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
4/ The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5/ I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
6/ I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
...apparently you have to actually go there.
7/ Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
8/ I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9/ The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
10/ If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
11/ I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill was enough.
12/ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our skulls.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
13/ Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
2/ My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old...
and we haven't a clue where the hell he is.
3/ I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
4/ The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5/ I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
6/ I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
...apparently you have to actually go there.
7/ Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
8/ I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9/ The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
10/ If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
11/ I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill was enough.
12/ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our skulls.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
AND
13/ Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
