Definitions to Keep on File….

for all youz biz owners...
(sent by a friend in the "depressed" housing mkt)

A Contractor:
A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.

An Opening Bid:
poker game in which the losing hand wins.

A Bid:
A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.

An Engineers Estimate:
The cost of construction in heaven.

The Critical Path Method:
A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.

A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print,
red tape, split hairs and baloney... usually applied at random with a shotgun.

A Strike:
An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.

Completion Date:
The point at which liquidation damages begin.

Liquidation Damages:
A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.

An Auditor:
One who goes in after the war is lost and bayonets the wounded.

A Lawyer:
One who goes in after the auditor and strips the bodies.
Author: admin