ANDY ROONEY ON SEX-
>
>
> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a
> good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
>
>
> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
> condom factory.
>
> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she
> objects.
>
> 4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard
> feelings..."
>
> 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive
> to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they
> are used together.
>
> 6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the
> best thing on earth.
>
> 7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly,
> Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
>
> 8. Virginity can be cured.
>
> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of
> opportunity.
>
> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't
> have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
>
>
> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
> were too small.
>
> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
> the enemy.
>
> 13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
>
> Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only
> down under.
>
> 14. A couple just
> married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with
> the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
>
>
> 15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a
> man's life?
> Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife
> doesn't.
>
> 16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye
> contact?
> Answer: Breasts don't have
> eyes.
>
> 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your
> troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their
> wives!
>
>
>
> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a
> good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
>
>
> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
> condom factory.
>
> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she
> objects.
>
> 4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard
> feelings..."
>
> 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive
> to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they
> are used together.
>
> 6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the
> best thing on earth.
>
> 7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly,
> Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
>
> 8. Virginity can be cured.
>
> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of
> opportunity.
>
> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't
> have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
>
>
> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
> were too small.
>
> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
> the enemy.
>
> 13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
>
> Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only
> down under.
>
> 14. A couple just
> married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with
> the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
>
>
> 15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a
> man's life?
> Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife
> doesn't.
>
> 16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye
> contact?
> Answer: Breasts don't have
> eyes.
>
> 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your
> troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their
> wives!
>
